How Parents and Loved Ones Can Help

Counseling Center

It can be challenging to find the right balance between supporting your student and providing them with the right amount of space to build problem-solving skills. If you have noticed signs of distress and are concerned for your student, it is important that they know you are there to support them, even from far away.

Talking & Listening: How to Support a Student

Sometimes the most powerful way to help is simply by being present and listening. Here are some friendly tips for offering meaningful support.

Start the Conversation

  • Gently name what you鈥檝e noticed: 鈥淚鈥檝e seen you seem a little off lately鈥攈ow are you doing?鈥�
  • Express genuine care and concern

Listen Without Judgment

  • Let them share without interrupting
  • Hold back on advice unless they ask for it
  • Avoid jumping in to fix things or telling them how to feel

Ask to Understand

  • Use open-ended questions to learn more about their experience
  • Stay curious and calm鈥攜our job is to understand, not solve

Offer Encouragement

  • Reassure them that they鈥檙e not alone and that you鈥檙e there for them
  • Share a similar experience if it helps normalize their feelings, but try not to shift the focus to yourself

Give Them Space to Talk

  • Don鈥檛 rush to solutions鈥攕ometimes just talking it out can ease distress and make someone feel supported

Remember: your presence, patience, and empathy can go a long way.

Ask About Their Needs: Support Starts with a Question

One of the most helpful things you can do is simply ask: 鈥淲hat do you need right now?鈥� 鈥淗ow can I support you?鈥�

Help Them Explore

If they鈥檙e unsure, that鈥檚 okay. You can:

  • Gently ask about their biggest concerns
  • Offer a few ideas or options without pressuring them
  • Keep the tone supportive, not solution-focused

Give Them Options

Having choices helps students feel more in control and less overwhelmed. Whether it鈥檚 talking to someone, taking a break, or exploring campus resources鈥攍et them know there鈥檚 no one right way to move forward.

Respect Their Pace

If they鈥檙e not ready for help or say they need space鈥攁nd it鈥檚 not an emergency鈥攔espect where they are. Let them know you鈥檒l be there when they鈥檙e ready.

Your compassion and willingness to meet them where they are can make a lasting difference.

Encourage Them to Seek Help: You Don鈥檛 Have to Do It Alone

Let your student know: it鈥檚 okay to ask for help鈥攁nd that support is available.

Share Campus Resources

  • Talk about what support services exist (like the Counseling Center, Student Outreach and Case Management, academic resources, etc.)
  • Encourage them to reach out and make the first connection
  • Offer to check in with them afterward to see how it went

Build a Support Network

Help your student think about who else they can turn to:

  • Professors
  • Staff or advisors
  • Mentors, friends, or partners

Knowing others are also looking out for them can bring comfort to both you and your student.

Support Their Independence

If your student is in a place to do so, encourage them to take the lead. Reaching out on their own helps build confidence and life skills鈥攍ike problem-solving and self-advocacy.

Step In If Needed

If they鈥檙e feeling overwhelmed or unable to take action, it鈥檚 okay to help by finding information or offering gentle guidance.

Your encouragement and follow-up can be just the nudge they need to take that next step.

Seek Additional Support: You鈥檙e Not Alone in This

Some students may be hesitant to reach out for help鈥攁nd that鈥檚 okay. If you鈥檝e encouraged your student but they haven鈥檛 taken that step, there are still ways you can get support.

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Campus Resources That Can Help

If your student is already connected to the Counseling Center, you’re welcome to share concerns with us. Please note–because of confidentiality laws, we can’t confirm or share treatment details unless your student has signed a release.

Take Care of Yourself, Too

Supporting a student through tough times—especially from a distance—can be emotionally taxing. It’s important to check in with your own well-being as well.

Making time for rest, reflection, and support can help you show up for your student with more calm, clarity, and care. You’re in this together—and we’re here to help.